Editor’s note: Join Chris Holman for his two-day Discovery Meeting Workshop, being offered September 8–9. Learn more and register here.
Good stories reveal something true. But very often in discovery meetings, advisor stories reveal the wrong thing; misjudged timing, misplaced focus, or a need to impress.
The truth is that humans are neurologically wired for story. Research shows that personal narratives trigger emotional resonance, foster empathy, and activate trust-based neural pathways.
That’s why a well-placed story, brief, relevant, and client-centered, can transform a moment of surface-level rapport into real relational depth.
In a discovery meeting, your story shouldn’t shift the focus. It should open the door to theirs. A personal anecdote, especially your “why,” signals authenticity, lowers emotional defenses, and invites clients to share what really matters to them.
Why personal stories matter in discovery
Behind every good story: a surge of dopamine, a spike in attention, a memory that sticks. Neuroscience shows that stories stimulate oxytocin (the “trust hormone”) and engage the brain’s empathy centers. That’s why they’re remembered, and why they matter.
Discovery meetings are rarely about spreadsheets alone. They’re where emotion and identity come to the surface. A personal story, shared at the right moment, reminds the client they’re speaking to a person, not only a technician. You’re talking to someone who gets it.
That kind of emotional resonance turns a transactional conversation into something far more powerful.
Sharing your ‘why,’ and how to do it well
One of the most effective ways to build early emotional engagement is to share why you do this work. Not as a pitch, but as a glimpse into what genuinely drives you.
For example:
“My father passed away unexpectedly without a financial plan. Watching my family struggle through that chaos shaped everything about the way I approach this work.”
It’s not only what you know that stands out, but what genuinely matters to you. It makes your motivation tangible. And that sincerity is what earns a client’s attention. But it only works when the story is clear, concise, and connected to what the client is feeling or facing. Otherwise, it lands as distraction, not connection.
Telling the right story, at the right time
Storytelling can be a powerful tool in discovery, but only when it’s used with care. The right moment to share a personal anecdote is after the client has already opened up emotionally. Your story should echo what they’ve expressed, not steer the conversation somewhere new.
Effective storytelling depends as much on delivery as it does on content.
If a client admits anxiety about market volatility, for example, a brief story about helping others navigate uncertainty can offer quiet reassurance. It normalizes fear, reinforces connection, and signals that they’re not alone.
The key is intentional vulnerability. A little goes a long way. The purpose is to reveal something real enough to create resonance, while keeping the focus squarely on the client. Strong stories make space. Weak ones pull focus. If you’re not sure which one you’re telling, pause.
A well-placed story should be brief, about a minute or two, and directly connect to something the client has shared. And it should serve as a bridge back to them, not a detour.
After you speak, leave space for the story to land. Then try asking, “How does that compare to what you’ve been thinking about?” That one question reframes the story as a mirror, something that reflects and deepens the client’s own thinking.
Pitfalls to avoid
There are a few common pitfalls that can dull the impact of storytelling in a discovery conversation. Oversharing is one of them. A story that runs too long or becomes too emotionally charged can shift the dynamic, turning the client into an audience.
Another misstep is using a story to shine the spotlight on yourself, especially if it’s aimed at proving competence or showcasing success. And then there’s timing. A story introduced too early, before real connection has been established, can feel out of place or forced.
A simple test can help. If you’re telling the story because you need to say it, pause. If you’re telling it because they need to hear it, you’re likely in the right place to begin.
Practical storytelling cues
Effective storytelling depends as much on delivery as it does on content. Start by reading the room. Are they leaning in, nodding, making eye contact? Or are they pulling back, distracted, or disengaged?
Let their body language guide your pacing. Match their tone, as well as their words. If they’re speaking with intensity, meet that energy. If they’re quiet or cautious, soften your approach.
Pay attention to how they connect. Some clients respond to emotion and personal detail. Others tune in more when the story is grounded in facts or strategy. The more you can alter your style to meet their way of processing, the more your story will land.
Examples in contrast
Consider a client who’s navigating a career change. They express uncertainty and fear of the unknown. The advisor responds with a brief, sincere reflection: “That was a tough season when I went through something similar. What’s this transition been like for you?”
It’s a short moment, but it does three things well. It acknowledges, relates, and then returns the focus to the client.
Now contrast that with an advisor who takes the same cue and responds with a five-minute story about launching their own firm and building it into a success. It may be impressive, but it misses the moment. The client is left wondering what any of it has to do with them.
Self-reflection for better storytelling
After a meeting, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on how your storytelling showed up. Did your story connect to the client’s emotions or experience? Was it brief, clear, and sincere? Did it move the dialogue forward, or pull it off course?
Most importantly, did it leave space for the client’s voice?
The best stories don’t dominate the conversation. They open it. A well-timed, well-told story does more than deliver information. It builds emotional credibility. It signals; You can count on me. Not only with your money, but with your uncertainty too.
And that’s when the real conversation begins.
Thoughts to carry forward
- Storytelling works best when it’s short, relevant, and client-centered.
- Vulnerability earns trust only when it’s used to create space, not take it.
- Your story doesn’t close the loop. It opens the door.