Editor’s note: Chris Holman is a Master Certified Coach, executive coach to financial advisors, and author of the forthcoming book “Discovery Shift: Why Talking Less and Listening More Wins Business.”
For decades, success in discovery meant two things: close the deal, collect the data. Traditionally, discovery has been treated as a step toward a sale: a structured process of gathering financial details, demonstrating expertise, and persuading prospects to move forward.
But what if success is no longer defined by closing or data collection?
A more meaningful standard focuses on three elements: prospect engagement, emotional openness, and the overall quality of the conversation. These human-centered outcomes better reflect what today’s clients actually want from their advisory relationships. They’re more informed, more skeptical, and less willing to be “sold.”
What they want is to be understood.
Where the traditional model misses the mark
Many advisors still approach discovery with a transactional mindset. Focused on gathering financial data, showcasing expertise, and steering prospects toward the next step. But these well-meaning intentions often backfire.
When a meeting is structured around fact-finding, it can feel more like a checklist than a conversation. Leading with a sales pitch may cause prospects to disengage. And when advisors dominate the airtime, often speaking up to 70% of the time, it becomes harder for prospects to open up or feel heard.
The result is a meeting that feels impersonal, rushed, and out of sync with what the prospect needs most: a chance to feel understood.
New metrics for success
A successful discovery meeting isn’t about data or polish. It’s about depth, the quality of the conversation and how it makes the prospect feel.
1. Prospect engagement
A strong meeting invites the prospect to participate fully. You’ll know it’s working when:
The ideal balance: Speak less than half the time. Use open-ended questions that invite reflection and storytelling.
2. Emotional openness
Trust deepens when a prospect feels safe enough to share not just numbers, but fears, hopes, and beliefs. Consider:
- Did the conversation go beyond facts and goals?
- Did the prospect share something personal?
- Did you make space for them to express more than you expected?
You can create this space by leading with warmth, showing genuine interest, slowing your pace, and listening without distraction.
3. Quality of conversation
High-quality conversations don’t feel rehearsed. They help the prospect clarify what matters. They ask bigger questions:
- What would financial peace of mind look like for you?
- What concerns keep you up at night?
A great discovery meeting doesn’t just inform. It enlightens.
Shifting the advisor’s mindset
To create discovery meetings that truly connect, advisors need to let go of the instinct to lead with answers.
You’re not there to convince someone to say yes. You’re there to understand who they are, what they care about, and what’s getting in their way.
That means:
- Creating moments of pause that allow deeper reflection.
- Asking follow-ups that reveal the story behind the answer.
- Resisting the temptation to fix or impress before you understand.
You don’t lead by directing. You lead by being welcomed in.
Putting the new metrics into practice
Role-play and feedback
Advisors can gain powerful insights by watching themselves in action. Record a few discovery meetings. Pay attention to your talk-time ratio. Notice which questions sparked deeper dialogue, and which ones shut it down.
Self-assessment after each meeting
Ask yourself:
Growth begins with awareness.
A new standard for success
Redefining success means shifting your focus away from performance metrics and toward relational ones.
A successful meeting sounds like this:
Connection starts to form. Not because you sold, but because you cared.
Advisors who adopt this mindset will naturally stand out in a profession that still trains for transactions.
Closing reflection
You should think differently about discovery. This is more than data. It’s the groundwork for trust and growth.
The best advisors don’t chase the perfect script. They don’t chase imperfect prospects, either. They focus on showing up with clarity, curiosity, and care.
Keep refining. Keep listening. Keep putting the prospect first. That’s where trust begins, and where success follows.
Thoughts to carry forward
- Traditional discovery meetings prioritize closing and data collection, but these transactional goals often lead to impersonal conversations that miss what prospects value most…being truly understood.
- Modern success metrics shift focus to engagement, emotional openness, and conversational depth, allowing prospects to share more meaningfully and build genuine trust.
- Advisors can improve by listening more than they speak, using open-ended questions, and creating reflective space, transforming discovery from a sales step into the start of a relationship.