Savvy financial advisors know that what a prospect isn’t saying often matters more than what they are. A prospect might nod in agreement, respond politely, even make friendly conversation, yet something feels off. Their answers are vague, their tone shifts, they laugh nervously at an important question.
If you’ve ever walked away from a meeting sensing something was left unsaid, you’re not alone. Prospects hold back for all kinds of reasons: fear, uncertainty, discomfort, or simply not knowing how to say what they’re really thinking. And when they do withhold something, it’s rarely obvious.
But the signs are there, if you’re paying close attention.
Noticing what’s left unsaid
In an ideal world, every prospect would arrive ready to open up about their hopes, fears, and financial concerns. In reality, many show up guarded. Some are afraid of being judged, worried they’ll be told they’ve made years of wrong decisions. Others feel intimidated by the process itself, unsure what’s expected.
Then there are those who think they’re being transparent but haven’t yet admitted the real concern even to themselves.
Recognizing this requires more than listening. It means reading between the lines, noticing tone, body language, and those brief hesitations that suggest something deeper.
Nonverbal behavior is often the first clue. A prospect who keeps their arms crossed might not be entirely comfortable, even if they’re polite. A lack of eye contact, sudden fidgeting, or a subtle shift in posture, these are small, but telling.
Then there’s how they speak. Someone who usually answers with confidence might hedge: instead of “Yes, I’m confident in our retirement plan,” they say, “I think we’re OK.” They use qualifiers, “I guess,” “I suppose,” that leave room for doubt.
Sometimes, the hesitation is in the silence. A pause before answering, just long enough to signal internal conflict. Or a quick subject change. Or a joke. These moments may be brief, but once you start seeing them, you’ll notice them everywhere.
Prospects won’t always say what they’re thinking. But they’re always evaluating. Their words may be warm. Their tone may be polite. But their body language might tell a different story.
This is where warmth matters most—not in what you say, but in what you notice.
Make them feel heard before you make them feel advised.
If a prospect feels seen, not just evaluated, their guard begins to drop. Subtle signs of unease are easier to miss when you’re focused on sounding competent. But prospects decide who to trust based on presence, not polish. And presence starts with noticing. As we’ve explored, prospects instinctively assess whether you’re trustworthy and capable. When they feel unsure, about you, the process, or themselves, that balance falters. And their cues change.
Spotting those shifts takes patience. You’re not looking to fix or push. You’re looking to notice what might be going unsaid.
When to gently push, and when to step back
Once you sense a prospect is holding something back, it can be tempting to press. Sometimes, that’s the right move. A gentle “Can you tell me more about that?” can open the door.
But press too soon, and they might shut down completely.
The key is knowing the difference.
Some prospects hesitate at first but stay engaged. They take a moment before responding, then lean in and offer thoughtful answers. That’s when a little encouragement, “That’s interesting. Can you elaborate?” can go a long way.
Other times, you feel them pulling back. Their body language closes off. Their responses shrink. Their discomfort grows. Push here, and you’ll lose them. Better to acknowledge the tension and give them space.
Saying, “I know this can be a tough thing to think about. There’s no rush,” reassures them. Switching topics, for now, can help them relax, so you can revisit the issue later.
Not every moment of hesitation needs to be explored right away, but each one offers a chance to better understand your prospect, if you respond with care.
The art of responding without making prospects defensive
Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than making someone feel interrogated. It happens easily, just asking too many questions too quickly can make a prospect feel under a microscope.
That’s why how you ask is just as important as what you ask.
A question like, “Why haven’t you done more to prepare for retirement?” almost always triggers defensiveness. But “When you think about retirement, what’s your biggest concern?” invites dialogue.
It’s not just the question. It’s how you respond to the answer. If someone shares a fear, about running out of money, or a past mistake, the worst response is to jump straight into solutions.
Start by acknowledging. “That makes a lot of sense.” “I can understand why that would be on your mind.” These short phrases validate emotion. Only then should you pivot to advice.
Make them feel heard before you make them feel advised.
The power of patience
Some prospects open up right away. Others need time.
Real trust isn’t built in one conversation. It grows across many moments, each one proving they’re safe to be honest here.
By noticing the subtle cues, knowing when to press and when to pause, and responding with empathy instead of urgency, you create the space for real conversations, ones that go beyond the numbers, into the reasons they came to you in the first place.
Thoughts to carry forward
- Prospects often hold back in discovery meetings. Their hesitation shows up in subtle ways, vague answers, deflections, shifts in body language.
- The key to breakthrough moments is knowing when to gently invite deeper sharing, and when to give space.
- When you observe carefully, lead with warmth, and respond with empathy, you build the trust that opens the door to the conversations that matter most.